Forever

"I am leaving, Alin, baby," I said holding him on my arms.
"And when you will come back?" his little fingers were trying to undone the first button of my blouse.
"I am not coming back."
"Are you leaving forever?"
"Forever, baby."
"What does it mean 'forever'?" Alin was still not looking at me, his eyes were down, so I could see how surprisingly long his eyelashes are. "When my mummy left me here, in the fundation, she also said 'forever'." He finally looked at me and smiled while I was holding my tears back and trying to figure out how to explain to a 6 years old boy the meaning of the word 'forever'.
Alin, baby, I didn`t tell you that, because I couldn`t. Instead I am writing now. I hope one day you will understand what your mother and me meant by this word. And I hope you will forgive us.
Forever means that probably I will never hold you on my arms like now. Forever means that I will never hear screaming "la masa" (at the table) two times per day (on weekends 3 times). Forever means that I will never be able to embarrass Mariuss, by singing and dancing on the streert at 7 o`clock in the morning. It means I will never hear from anyone saying "pofta buna" (enjoy your meal) the way Niki says it. It means that I will never hear anyone laughing like Andreea and Eugen together. It means that I will never smell barilla with pesto like Roberto make them smell. I will never hear Mona`s screaming, seeing a mouse taking shower or seeing Roberto putting cereals in yogurt in a wrong way. Probably I will never again laugh so badly with anyone from Vilnius. (Maybe from Kaunas, yes) I will never hear such funny English expressions like Bea makes up. (Instead of 'ugly curtains' - 'angry curtains') No one will say to me: " Stii? Je t`aime." like Daniel says it. And no other carpet will serve like a bed so regularly. And for sure I will never get such a lovely massage like Alin makes. And probably I will never eat mamaliga with smantana and cheese never again.
I have had my ups and downs. We have had our ups and downs, but we made out of that the best time a volunteer could have living together with other 6 volunteers, 25 younger and older boys and other human beings. And now I am very sad, because I know I cannot keep these people with me forever (even if I wanted:). But I also know that there won`t be a day (at least for one year) that I don`t think about them.
These 8 months in Romania (well, actually around 5 thanks to Balkan flexipass:) will always haunt me. In a good way. Of course (For those who know - read like Niku would say). Because I could`t have had better time.
And I wasn`t alone this time.
Because of you, people.
With all my love to you,
Lelde.

About today and tonight

i just lit a sigarette.now ,i want to write something.
i was listening a conversation about people and their choices,who they are bla bla bla...
i could not listen them more because it was enough things that i heard.
conversation that i heard was about,hating people(or lets say it dislike,hate is a strong word),dicriminating gypsies,despise them,despise almost anyone who doesnt look or be the same.
i am not so sensitive person on these topics,i dont discriminate anyone but,still;i am not  sensitive one.
i am writing because i wanted to.as always
i dont see any point to see people different than you because of the things they can not change.like men ,women,gay ,lesbian,gypsy,disable,nationality.... and list goes like this.
it might seem natural to critisize other one who is different than you,its our defense mechanism to protect ourself from the evil on the world.(i think so,not sure).Thats why we become friends with people who similar with us,people we work with,people we go to school,because we have something common,we cannot critisize them so quickly because if we do,in a way we critisize ourself by doing it.
Thats why we can think bad things,say bad things or even do bad things to the people who are different than us.we do this,by doing this,we put ourself in a so called safe place,away from that someone can say anything bad for us.Because if you are strong enough to tell something bad to someone,you are strong enough to  protect yourself(in a way)
But we should remember this:WE have no RIGHT to do it.All the right you have ,its only the rights you have on your body.You can say or do anything to your system,even though its something bad,you have right to do it.Because it belongs to you.You may have power to change people,in a good way or bad one,no matter which,you should not force them or critisize them just because you are able to.Because you dont have this right.
i dont know why i am writing these about rights and power,may be because a person once who was weaker,can become most cruel person on the universe,because of now,he/she is able to or to have revenge or to feel better or just want to do.
no matter what you have been thorough,when you have a chance to get even,just dont do it.
Forgive and forget.Thats the only way you can find peace in your heart even everything around you collapse.

i dont remember who tolds this but its correct:when power of love overcomes the love of power,world will know peace.i believe that.thats my only choice.

love

ibra

All these things that i have done

it may sound familiar title to you,its a killer song from killer.i dont know why i started in this way,anyway;deal with it.
its been 7 months and for me,there is only one month left ...i am planning to enjoy my last month here in bucuresti,so;if i write something else during that time,it will include info about kids,staff that work in the center,educators,volunteers and drunk volunteers.not too drunk,just drunk enough to talk about things we have been through.For some volunteers,one glass of vine is enough,and for some,you need to spend a fortune to get drunk,around 30 lei(you may think that i am talking about myself,its not just correct,just wanted you to know)
i was out of romania because of a visa problem,i am a turkish citizen by the way if you wonder who needs visa for romania,no worries i am not alien,just turkish.
and when i came back,i have found maythings have changed in center,everywhere was green,and we have a pool now,we are lucky i know(jealous? :))i have found myself changed during that month.but i cannot the feeling all the kids(ok maybe not almost,may)running to you,jumping on you,trying to sit on your legs (3 kids on one leg)and when they want to leave their places,ibra tell copii here occupat ,its good enough reason to enjoy the month.
i dont know what i have done here,if its a good work or not,i am just happy to live all these things that i have done.All
i know we have 5 followers,no one will read probably,in a way,i dont care. i am writing because i wanted to,i am here because i wanted to.
Enjoy your time

ibra

don't waste your time

Yes, it’s my first post except the necessary one “who is Rasa Ambruleviciute?”. Probably because only now I feel I have to say something I feel could be useful for future volunteers or anybody who decided to read this blog.

Don’t waste your time.

Don’t waste your time for thinking how hard or useless it is to do something or how it would be in different conditions or … etc.

Enjoy every moment even it seems that you are getting crazy but believe me you won’t. And after few days you will laugh about this. So start immediately. Start to laugh when it’s hard, open your mind and just enjoy every moment you are given in your life.

If one year ago you would had told me that I’ll be somewhere in Romania disemboweling my size chicken (considering I am vegetarian) later putting them on a beer bottles and cooking more  or less all day I would had thought that you probably have specific sense of humor. But I did it (about level of pleasure we won’t discuss) and I really had a good time. Maybe because I was able not to concentrate in how, actually, disgusting it is, but in the people who surround me, our conversation in Romanian, English, Spanish, Russian and body-languages mix, laugh and screams, how tasty is coffee which you drink it in the coffee brakes with work colleagues, karaoke competition trying to outvoice  all cooking machineries…

Enjoy everything you do. Trust me. It’s not easy. But it’s worth a try.

Good luck.

Rasa

Should I stay or should I go?

By the way there is this project. "I can, You can, Let`s do more together". The action, most of the time, takes place in Str. Drumul Sabareni 47-53, sector 6, Bucuresti. The main actors are about 30 absolutely adorable boys, 2 mothers (mammy), 7 fathers (tati), one giant man with giant`s heart, who will do anything to make you feel fine, unless he doesn`t forget. Then there is one blondie, who is a monster in Martisoaras (the Romanian thing), pool and, God knows, where else. That`s our coordinator. One more personage worth mentioning, who also appears on the stage of Forum Theatre (if you don`t know what it, is just find out), is our mentor, who sometimes (most of the times:) "needs mentoring himself". And when these two get together..Their jokes and laughs can be so painful, you can get cramps in your stomach. Ai, I almost forgot 7 characters, who call themselfs volunteers. Sometimes they are totally fine, but sometimes they might seem to be lost in space or going around it. When they are not moving around the furnitures and changing the rooms or taking the walk in "Carrefour", they are playing with the boys. For example, there is the game called "kirka" - you put a kid on your shoulders and run around till he hits his head on some corner. Game over. Or you can just lay on the sofa all together and enjoy Hannah Montana. And there is always work in the kitchen. Crying about chopped onions, making sandwitches for the kids and drinking juice of beetroots. They also are involved in Forum Theatre, showing the discrimination of institutionalized children to the society, although the only discrimination I`ve seen is here - in the souls of the kids. They have an opressor inside them and this is their own struggle. So we are here for that. And this is the hardest and at the same time the most wonderful thing about this project. There are days when these kids make me happy. It`s enough when a little boy says to you: "You are beautiful.", sleeping on your belly, while you`re watching a movie. But then there are days when everything is too much and you wish to escape. But if you quit, you will never know what could have happened and how it could have ended. And besides there are so many things we can teach to these kids and there are so many things we can learn from them.

And moreover spring is on its way.

So I decided to stay.

Lelde.

Being a “Putzfee” for one day

Impressions of the General Cleaning of the Kitchen

21.01.11
Paula for breakfast
A lot of helping hands
Anna coordinating every hand movement in the kitchen
Washing, brushing, cleaning, sponging, polishing
Smell of Cif all over the place
Glissade on the wet and slippery floor
Nicu interviewing the rest of us
Crush of people
Stuff standing around, in everyone’s way
Cartofi prajiti with cheese
Tony who hands out sprite and coke to everybody
Eating while standing
Lorenzo: “Oh my Gaga”
Shouting, Screaming, Laughing
“bea, Bea, BEA? Unde este ea?”
Working together
Tony singing and dancing with his towel
The sound of dropping things, rattle and roar
Hours passing by
Seems like a Never-ending story of cleaning
Getting tired
Gata
Noapte buna

Welcome the New Year

 “Revelion” in Romania is not so very different to “Neujahr” in Germany, but “New Years’ eve” in a big City like Bucuresti, is definitive different than “Silvester” in my small village at home.
There all the young people meet around 12 o ‘clock at a local bridge to celebrate the coming year. From this bridge you can see the fireworks of the neighborvillages – that’s  very nice because you know everyone and you have a really good time.
This year I was at Piata Constitutiei and among a mass of people, the only persons I knew were my group of volunteers.  And the fireworks in front of the Parliament Palace -wow- this was something special – a fantastic mixture of snow and light (But not to compare with our own small display of fireworks, later in the park).
The last day of the year is always amazing, but this time for me was kind of magical. I really enjoyed everything, the sparkling wine, being with friends, the hugs and good wishes for the New Year; yes I even enjoyed my cold feet.

Mona

Name: Roberto

Name: Roberto
Age: 25
Country: Italy
Town: Genoa
About me:
I am a guy who loves travelling. I like cinema, music (AC/DC), football (my team is Sampdoria), and to go out with friends.
I am here in Bucarhest to gain an experience, to get to know an another country, culture and different social conditions. But I am here also to help the kids!
So you are travelling and helping others and you will see that it will be better than a good movie ...
Daniel: a good friend and also a good football player...alè alè marseille!...ciuc
Rasa: a really nice Lithuanian girl, but I haven't understood if she is from Kaunas or not...!?
Bea: self-assured girl. She is the one who prepars our activities.
I like to listen her speaking in Spanish.
Mona: the smallest. She was the first who arrived here. Her German accent is very funny for me. I like her when she says mare.... : )
Ibrahim: a good cook and a really nice guy. I like to organize a trip with him...the distances aren't a problem but the cold is.
Lelde: for Lelde nothing is impossible. Very good English teacher.
She is my second mentor, when I don't understand something, or I have a problem I know where to go.
I like speak Italian with her.

bucharest

bucharest

bucarest è la foschia che ti avvolge la mattina presto

bucarest è i casermoni che non faranno dimenticare il comunismo

bucarest è la bellezza delle sue donne

bucarest è i cani ai bordi della strada

bucarest è la cordialità della sua gente

bucarest è la ciorba sia pranzo che a cena

bucarest è i suoi splendidi parchi

bucarest è un infanzia negata

bucarest è un sole che deve ancora sorgere

bucarest...bucarest è la speranza negli occhi di un bambino che non svanirà mai.

　

bucharest is the fog that cover you in the early morning

bucharest is the big blocks that will not forget the comunism

bucharest is the beauty of its woman

bucharest is the dogs on the wayside

bucharest is the politeness of its people

bucharest is the ciorba both lunch and dinner

bucharest is its wonderful parks

bucharest is a childhood denied

bucharest is a sun that has yet to arise

bucharest...bucharest is the hope in the eyes of a child that will never fade.

what just happened?

Hello,
I know its cliche but best way to start talking to people.Always.There are many things that i can tell you about project but,i prefer to go easy first.
During the time i have spent here, i have learnt many things.If you would ask whats the most
important thing,it is definitely trust.To trust people.I used to have issues on trusting people.
Even though i was very happy with this situation,i couldn't say the same thing for the
people around me .Something has happened.Right now just listening Guano apes in the living room after my italian lesson when a german girl reading her mail.Probably.
I 've been always like this .it was my thing.Don't trust anyone.I broke this code once before and
it didn't end well,that's i can tell.And that was my allaby to my insecurity to humans.
As i said ,something has happened.And i tried so hard not to and there was nothing i could do.
Everyone around me has been very natural,acting the way who they are,noone was acting(hmm,maybe
exept forum theatre ,not sure :))and anytime they have faced with a problem ,they shared it even
though sometimes they weren't so sure about it.It made me wonder:Could i do the same?Of course,the
answer was no back then.It was very long time ago,almost 2 months earlier.I know it sounds weird ,til my arrival,15 october;2 months was just a blink of an eye,that was it.Here in Bucharest,its not.It was longest and best 3 months of my short life.
I will try what happened to me even though i know its impossible.There are things in life that you cannot descibe,you know its there,happening but you cannot find the words ,maybe just because they just don't exist.there are many things like god(ok,if you don't believe him i have more examples :),like love or lightening.You can hear the thunder but only you can not see the lightening.(unless it doesn't crash to a place close to you )
And that happened to me.It just crashed top of my head.It made me dizzy little,though.And everything has changed.
At first i thought it was going to make me crazy but i know now.It has made me more calm that i've ever been.
I hope that it will happen to you.Maybe during your EVS time.
Who knows!